May 22, 2012
My life is filled with ups and downs, highs and lows. And lately, it’s been more frequent than it has been in the past.
I know every high point will eventually be a low point, and I know every low point would climb back to a high point.
I guess I could say my life is pretty unstable. I’m not sure if it’s my mind or the factors that surround me. I haven’t worked in the past, almost three weeks. And I feel more alone than ever.
It seems like stupid reasons, it really does. But sometimes when you’re at that low point. It feels pretty fucking low. And at the end of every low point, every time. Every time, there’s a little thought that you want to give up. And it’s the worst feeling in the world.
And you’re sitting there, and you don’t want to reach out to anybody. You really don’t.
Somewhere in my mind there’s just. There’s the thought where you don’t want to reach out partially because you don’t want to burden people. And you really don’t want to seem weak.
So you sit there, and you just stare. Every room you walk into, weather you’re getting a glass of water, or using the toilet. You just stop and have this gaze on your face. You’re not really looking at anything, you’re just filled with emptiness. You don’t really want to talk to anybody, and you just stay in your little area where you know you’re left alone.
I don’t know who’s going to read this, or how you’re even going to perceive me. But if you read this, and you know what I’m talking about. You’re not alone.
April 29, 2012
Life just keeps on getting better and better.
April 15, 2012
So I set a record for myself yesterday. I made more money yesterday than i ever have before in a single day. It’s kind of a cool record breaker.
I’m actually pretty stoked, and if I keep this up, I’m going to be making BANK this summer.
After last summer, doing the Air Sampling for J.C. Broderick, I went off on my own and got my Asbestos Supervisor’s license. I had to borrow almost $1000 from my parents to pay for the license, and I never found work. Finally I found work through this company called AGA environmental.
I was making $13 an hour doing the air sampling. This Friday and Saturday were my first times working as a supervisor. Let’s just say I made more than triple my previous hourly pay. I worked 16 hours yesterday. I can’t wait to see the paycheck.
Oh yea, and I looked down at my previous posts, that girl was shit. She was beautiful and smart, but very self absorbed. She thought she had the power to enlighten everybody, and saw the world through narrow eyes. I couldn’t even connect with her. Whatever, her loss.
April 8, 2012
Happy Easter!
It feels so good to wake up with a beaming smile on my face. I’m so happy. I feel like I’m walking on the clouds.
April 6, 2012
I really think I found the girl of my dreams.
(Source: robotcosmonaut)
(Source: brotips)
3/24/11
So alot has been going on. I kind of have a different mentality than I have had with my lasts post.
I’ve been doing the comedy ALOT lately. I have had a few set backs but some of the progression i’ve made is awesome. I feel like I’ve finally found my voice in comedy. My comedy has developed a bit of an anger twist. More so frustration in a sense. I’ve been telling my jokes with more passion than I ever have. I believe in my jokes thoroughly and they are who I am.
The comedy has really lifted my spirits and has given me something to believe in again. I’ve been more motivated now than ever. I wanted to try and build on my idea I had years ago of making my own stand up production business called untouched comedy. I’m beginning to think that’s not the greatest idea. The profit margin I would be making wouldn’t be all too great. It would be very time consuming with very little pay off.
What I do have underway is possibly making my own independent sitcom. I’ve talked to a few people I know who are good with movie editing and everything. I want to make a pilot for a show I want to call “Open Mic’er”. My idea for the show is based around a nobody comic. Many of the hit sitcom shows that comedians make are based around comedians lives after they’ve became famous. There are no shows that actually show the frustrated, the dedication and work, the ups and downs of up and coming comedians. My biggest inspiration has been Louis CK and his show “Louie”. I want to make something to that nature except with my personal feel. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a comedy, and it doesn’t have to have jokes every thirty seconds. More of a melo drama with comedy involved. It would be a funny show, but truthfully funny. I’m going to start preparing for it after this blog.
Occupation wise, I will be seeing many changes. I went to a job fair last week and I was sent on three different interviews. One of them was for metlife, which I kind of walked away from because it was all commission based. I would have to sell insurance to my friends and family, and I wasn’t really supportive of that, i wanted something steadier. The second interview was with Verizon. They wanted me right away but I really don’t want the job. I accepted it because I need something right now but I only start at $25,000 a year plus commission. The other job that I was hoping for was through pfp services. I would sell insurance to credit union workers. The guy on the phone told me they would start me off at $40,000 plus commission, which would bring me to the mid 50’s. I was stoked about that, but I haven’t heard back from him all this week even after 3 phone calls, so I accepted verizon’s job. I finally got in touch with the guy from pfp services today, and the first thing he noted was how much he appreciated how I tried following up 3 times prior. He now knows how much I want the job. I have an interview scheduled Monday with him after I start filling out my paperwork at Verizon. I know this seems like a jumbled mess. But hopefully i can get the pfp services job, because I would hate to work in Retail again.
So yea, life’s not too bad, I can’t complain all too much. I can’t wait until I see paycheck’s start rolling in again. My women situation is doing all right as of right now. I just came back from a date with a girl. The funniest thing is, her name is Nicole as well and she’s also 19. She seems like a little bit of a blonde, but she’s cool. I think she has a warm heart, and she might need some time to feel comfortable. Other than her, I have noticed an increased amount of attention from girls. Maybe my confidence is starting to shine through again. I slowly feel like my life is starting to pick up positive momentum. But anyway, I posted an audio clip of me doing comedy the other night at an Open Mic in Huntington where I absolutely killed. Enjoy.
3/18/12
she was just a figment of my imagination.
why do I still look at this? lol
